It All Started With a Ripped Robe
by Uchizaki
Summary: An example of how a normal conversation can be take the wrong way, and how the wrong meaning could actually be/become the right meaning. Disclaimer: Not mine... Pairing: HitsuIchi If you read, you should review! It's common courtesy! Rated M to be safe.


**Hi! This story is a product of a week without Internet! You have no idea how bad that is X.X**

**Warnings: Half a lemon, or a lime, whatever, it's rated M, see? OC-ness for Ichigo and Hitsugaya, you'll see later. Yaoi/Shonen Ai, don't like, don't read further.**

**Major Pairing: Hitsugaya x Ichigo (see order?)**

It All Started With a Ripped Robe

_Uchizaki_

Rangiku hummed a light, happy tune as she skipped around in the tenth company barracks. She was headed towards her captain's office with a thick vanilla folder of paperwork under her arm.

As she neared her destination, she heard muffled noises coming out of her captain's door. Being a curious person as she was, she crawled closer and ducked behind the wooden part of the sliding door and listened.

"Did you bring protection?" A demanding voice asked. No doubt it was her captain talking. Matsumoto arched a curious eyebrow.

"Nah, only an amateur would wear protection when doing something like this." A very familiar voice answered. Matsumoto couldn't exactly pinpoint who it is.

"I don't get why I'm taking care of your problem for you, Kurosaki." Ah, so the other occupant of the room was the orange haired substitute shinigami.

"'Cuz you're just a nice, dependable guy Toushiro."

"It's Hitsugaya-taicho to you. And I'm not nice; I won't go easy on you."

"Give me all you've got Toushiro-"

"It's Hitsugaya-taicho!"

"-whatever, just hurry it up already."

Then Matsumoto heard a ripping sound, and the sound of fabric sliding against- _Oh. My. God they better not be doing what I think they're doing in there!! _The busty blonde had to try hard to hold in a squeal when her perverted mind suggested dirty images. She eavesdropped on.

"There, I got it out."

"That's it Kurosaki? How unimpressive."

"Shut it, we'll just have to work with this."

"Fine, let me go get the protection."

"Oh come on you pansy! You really don't need protection for this! You're really good with this kind of things anyways!"

"Better safe than sorry. Ah, found it."

"Sheesh, you're such a girl."

"Wanna bet?"

More sliding and rustling.

"Okay…nevermind. Just get on with it."

"Don't be so demanding when you're the one asking for a favor."

"_Thank _you soooo much for helping me, oh great and mighty captain…" Even Matsumoto can make out the sarcasm dripping from that statement.

"Maybe I'll just leave you like this."

"No! Please Toushiro!"

"…Fine, just this once."

"Aw, you're the best!"

More rustling.

"Hey! It's going in the wrong hole!"

"I know, baka. But if I get it wet, it'll be easier to put in into the correct hole."

"Want me to get it wet for you?"

Matsumoto felt something dripping from her nose.

"No, I can manage….There, got it in."

"Ah! Toushiro if you push that hard you might rip something!"

"Shut up! I know what I'm doing!"

Matsumoto giggled as quietly as she could. Leave it to Hitsugaya-taichou and Ichigo-kun to bicker like that during sex, she thought pervertedly and giggled again. She wiped her nose hastily with her shinigami robe's sleeve.

"Okay, Toushi now you're going too slow; you're never gonna finish at this rate."

"Don't call me 'Toushi,' it sounds too immature. And if you're going to complain, I'll just stop altogether."

"Ack! No don't stop! If you stop now how can I step out into the Seireitei like this?"

"Your problem, not mine."

"Prick."

"What was that?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all!"

"…Ngh, almost…"

"Oooh! Yeah, just a little more…Ah!"

The busty, blonde eavesdropper promptly fainted, blood running freely out of her nose and mouth wide open.

"There! Finally got this stubborn button sewed on!" Hitsugaya exclaimed, wiping at his brow with his arm. Who knew fixing a ripped shihakushou could be so hard?

"Thanks a bunch Toushi!" Ichigo said, happy that the robes are finally patched together again. "Next time Uryuu isn't available, I'll ask for your help agai-"

"On one condition," the white-haired captain stated matter-of-factly, looking quite serious.

"W-what condition?" Ichigo asked, thinking various things in his mind that the egoistic prodigy would make him do. He shivered a little in fright.

"You have to call me Hitsugaya-taichou from now on."

"WHAT!? No way!" The substitute shinigami exclaimed in horror.

"Is that how you humans show your gratitude?" Hitsugaya smirked, observing the carrot top's mouth open and close like a fish on dry sand. Oh yes, he was one evil genius. This was the only reason that he bothered to actually go through all the trouble of fixing the stupid baka's robes.

"You…ah nevermind! Whatever you prick!" Ichigo threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. A puddle of red liquid seeping under the door suddenly caught his attention.

"Ack! Tou- Hitsugaya-_taichou_!! Blood! Someone's been injured or-"

"Forget it, it's only Matsumoto." Hitsugaya replied coolly, cutting off the keyed up orange head. He shrugged, _Matsumoto was probably eavesdropping and took our conversation very pervertedly._

"Eh!?" Ichigo opened the sliding door and stared at the unmoving blonde fuku-taichou, "The blood is all dripping out of her nose! That's one massive nosebleed!" He turned to the white-haired captian, "Shouldn't we wake her up or something? She's gonna run outta blood soon, from the looks of it. I wonder what could've been so… you know, when we were just fixing my robe."

"I can and will show you," Hitsugaya suddenly purred seductively, grabbed a confused Ichigo's chin, and smashed his lips against the others.

Ichigo's eyes opened wide in shock and surprise. _What the hell!? Ice prick is kissing me!?? …and what is this feeling…? _

Hitsugaya smirked as the other timidly kissed back. He gently pushed the other down on the tatami mats and continued his ministrations. Poor Ichigo was just too shocked to do anything. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, he briefly wondered what happened to the icy, unemotional captain. But on second thought, he liked this version much better. He couldn't hold in his moans anymore once the prodigy shinigami traced his way down the substitute shinigami's jaw with his tongue and sucked on his Adam's apple.

Hitsugaya paused and stared deep into honey brown orbs, "Now do you know what she was imagining?" His hand was under the other's shihakushou, playing around with the carrot top's smooth, silky skin.

"H-huh? N-no…?" Ichigo stuttered, rather unfocused on the white-haired captain's talk, but much more on the other's actions.

"She thought that the problem we were taking care of was _this_," here Hitsugaya pointed to the bulge in the carrot top's lower robes. Ichigo blushed a deep crimson and muttered, "O-oh…"

"And this," Hitsugaya continued, grinning pervertedly. _And evilly, _Ichigo added with a slight shudder. He had never even dreamed of seeing the normally frosty captain wearing the face that he's wearing now.

"Now, let's take care of these problems…shall we?"

"Ack! No wait- Ahhh! Ngh s-stop…what the- Don't rip my clothes off!!! Ack! Keep your own clothes on!! P-p-p-prick! You're gonna rip my shihakushou again!! Gimme my clothes back!! I don't want to go around naked! This is embarrassing!!!"

"Keep still, baka! You'll get them back later!"

"Gue tho 'ingers ou'a my 'outh!!" Ichigo spat copious amounts of saliva on the digits in his mouth in an attempt to disgust the other to pull them out. To his confusion, Hitsugaya smirked when he withdrew them.

"Thanks for cooperating," Hitsugaya stated smugly as he lowered his wet fingers down to the other's exposed, puckered entrance.

"Huh? Whadda ya mea- Ow! That hurts! Take it out!" Ichigo yelled as he felt something wet and warm push up his butt. His eyes widened, "That's disgusting! Take your finger out! Don't you know that that's the hole turd nuggets slide out from?"

"Do you have another hole? Good, didn't think so. Then this must be the _right _hole."

"Ow ow ow! Don't stick all your fingers in! It hurts!!"

"It's only three, and if I don't do this, it'll hurt more."

Ichigo was about to ask when a thought suddenly struck him.

"W-w-w-w-wait, you're not gonna put _that _thing inside me, …right?"

"That was the original plan."

"W-w-w-what!? S-so…all this fingering is for _that_?"

"Yes."

"We can't have _sex_! We're both guys!" Ichigo hissed.

Hitsugaya sighed. As much as he wanted the substitute soul reaper…he really didn't want the other unwilling. He wanted the other to also want it just as bad.

"If you really don't want to…then we won't," he said, face calm on the outside, but hormones going insane in the inside. "But how are you going to take care of that problem right there?" he added with a smirk, pointing at the other's exposed, and hard cock.

"Er…um…" Ichigo really didn't know what to say. He hasn't even realized that he's supporting a boner. He bit his lip, deep in thought. It wasn't that he didn't like the white-haired captain, it's just that he never thought about him this way before. _Heck, if I didn't like him, why would I go ask him to sew my robes together? _he thought, _I probably could've asked Rukia or something, but the fact that I asked him must mean something, right? _

Hitsugaya observed the thinking shinigami for a little while, and then with a mental sigh of disappointment and a little regret, he stood up, gathered his clothes, and started to pull them back on. But a hand on his wrist stopped him. He glanced down into pleading honey brown orbs.

"Wait, it's okay, let's do it," Ichigo said firmly, not releasing his hold on the other's pale arm. Now he's just getting a real good look at the icy captain, without any distractions. He realized that when the normally frosty prodigy smiled, he was the most beautiful and striking being in the world, what with his clothes clutched in his right hand and being stark naked.

Hitsugaya drowned himself in the depths of those beautiful eyes. Now he remembered why he even accepted to help the substitute shinigami in the first place. Past his icy front, he wanted others to accept the real him, and maybe even love him. He saw that in the warm, hazel eyes and relished in the rare, happy feeling.

"Okay," he whispered seductively. After stealing a quick but soft kiss, he added with a bit of concern in his tone, "If you're really fine about it, I don't want to hurt you."

Ichigo was surprised with the tenderness in the usually cold voice, and smiled gently back. "You won't hurt me, give me all you've got," he grinned slyly.

Hitsugaya grinned back, a happy care-free grin; then with eyes shining with love and lust, he adjusted himself at Ichigo's stretched, pink entrance and entered with a quick thrust.

-[ Skip into the middle of the, um, heated action. ]-

Matsumoto was having the greatest dream in which her captain was, um, to put it bluntly, fucking the substitute shinigami's brains out when she was rudely awakened by what seemed to be…a scream?

She opened her eyes a little bit but they immediately widened so much that her eyeballs almost popped out of their sockets. Her captain was mercilessly pounding the substitute shinigami into the floor, both of them moaning with intense pleasure.

_N-no way! My dream…it was real!?!?!?!_

She fainted again, this time a waterfall of blood cascading out of her nose.

-[ Sometime later… ]-

"…Well Kurosaki, what to do now, you're clothes are ripped again."

"Ah well, forget it Toushiro. I think that they're gonna have to get fixed a lot more times from now on anyways…"

"I'll be accepting some kind of _payment_ from now on for every time you bring you ripped clothes."

"Aw heck Toushiro, I don't have any soul reaper money!"

"You idiot; not that kind of payment. Use your brain, taking into account what we were doing just a moment ago."

"…Oh. That kind of payment."

"Mmhm."

"…"

"What, you afraaaid?"

"Nope, I was just wondering if I can pay you in advance, if ya catch my drift."

"Oh sure, you can always do that."

"Thanks Toushiro! I mean, _Hitsugaya-taichou_!"

"...You know what Kurosaki? Just...call me Toushiro or whatever..."

"Only if you call me Ichigo!"

"Fine fine."

~**Owari**~

Hope you liked it! I know I know it's rushed and all, and it's has a very crappy plot and horrible grammar. I apologize for putting such crap on the great and awesome

I do realize that somebody might have already written a story like this, but I'm pretty sure they don't have the exact plot as I do. If one of you dear readers read a story exactly like this before! Tell me in a review or a pm! I really don't want to be plagiarizing another author's hard work. Though I'm pretty sure this is somewhat orignial...

Please leave a review before you click the exit button! Reviews make any writer's day five times better~!


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